Someone Kall Animal Kontrol… The Kardashians Are Running Loose!

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     Kardashian_for_Sears_1
    The three horse-women of the apokolypse

    As if we don’t already have enough Kardashian krap stuffed down our throats (no pun intended to Kim), the Kardashian Klan came out in full force last night at the premiere party for their latest assault on humanity in Hollywood, CA. The Kardashians will launch their “Kollection” for Sears which will hit stores (and our nerves) in the near future.

    Where’s PETA with their buckets of red paint when you need them? While Kourtney looks like she just taught a strip-tease lesson at an all girl Amish school, Kim and Kourtney simultaneously competed for the the title of tackiest use of leopard print ever. Somewhere right now there’s a pride of spotless leopards wishing their skin could have gone to better use like on the living room throw rug in a 51 year old bachelor’s apartment. But noooo! Instead, those poor animals were killed so that their skin could be strecthed beyond capacity to wrap around these two’s carcASSes! A crime of nature has just been committed indeed.

    In other news, animal safety patrol kept their tranquilizer guns armed & ready in case Khloe got out of hand. View the rest of the pics at your own discretion. 

     Kardashian_Sears_2
    Kris Jenner’s prize kash kow, Kim

    Khloe_Kardashian
    The original bride of sasquatch, Khloe

    Kourtney_Kardashian
    Head mistress Kourtney from the
    all girls school for wayward Amish strippers

    Kendall_Jenner
    The littlest Kardashian that kould, Kendall

    Kris_and_Kim_Kiss
    Kim’s new katch, Kris Humphries

    You think they are kissing but what’s actually happening is Kim is sucking out the remaining vestiges from Kris Humphries soul. If this picture had audio it would sound something like the slurp you hear from drinking the last few drops of soda through a straw.

    Kardashian_Klan
    Try not to stare directly into it

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