Hip-Hop Enquirer: Half of your book explores the depths of domestic violence, what do you want the children to learn from your experience and what’s the message you’re conveying on this horrific tragedy?
Nelli Davis: First thing I want them to do is keep the discussion alive about domestic violence because a lot of times when we see or experience something traumatic, we have a innate tendency to just hold it in, until the pain resurfaces at another time. I want adults to shut up and spend more time listening to their kids. That little boy or girl crying in corner doesn’t understand what just happened after dad hits mom. I wanted to be a voice to the kids and that’s why I wrote part of I Dream Awake from the standpoint of a child; so we can hear them and help them heal and deal with the trauma of domestic violence. This in turn becomes a form of therapy needed so they don’t repeat the same cycle of violence.
HHE: You recently penned an article for The Grio called “Son Of A Monster” where you discussed the repetitive cycle of domestic balance and how your father had a traumatic childhood growing up. What made you decide to delve deeper and explore some of the reasons behind your father’s own issues?
Nelli Davis: Immediately when you hear these headlines or see the videos, the first thing anybody thinks is how much of a monster that person must be; but in actuality that “monster” is a person just like you you and me, fighting demons from their past. I wanted to help people see the person behind the monster; in this way we learn to face and deal with the cycle before it repeats itself.
It’s the same way if people grow up in low-income neighborhoods where drugs are sold and the street life is glorified… the kids repeat what they see and know to be “life.” That same mirror of reality is reflected in the home. When dad beats mom and she forgives him; the son who witnesses this is lead to believe that’s the way relationships work and the daughter learns that and thinks she must quickly forgive her abusing mate as well; because they both think that’s how relationships work. We have to be cautious of the cycle so the abuse doesn’t repeat and continue for generations.
HHE: The NFL has also taken stick action on domestic violence and some of its new policies include lifetime bans after the first offense. Most of these cases and accusations are valid but what are your thoughts on some women who may use the domestic violence claim even if their man never hit them as a way to try to control him, especially if a baller won’t marry them or whatever?
Nelli: I feel men should be on their guard and we can’t control the negative things that people do to try to capitalize off of a situation. But the good that can come from this negative is the awareness to not allow yourself to be caught in this situation. For the athletes to make a point not to put their hands on another person and especially not a woman. You always have negative people trying to capitalize off a negative situation. But now with this awareness, it keeps men on their toes, and that’s how you turn a negative into a positive.
Nelli: Peace+Love is a community-based social cause movement committed to the positive promotion of world peace and non-violence using the fusion of F.A.M.E. (fashion, arts, music, and entertainment). Peace+Love was founded in 2005 by Rochelle and Herman Davis (my mothers youngest siblings) in her honor. My Aunt Rochelle played a huge role in delivering justice for my mother’s death, because my father didn’t go to prison until three years after he killed my mom.
That was because after they closed the case, my aunt wrote anybody in Philadelphia who could make a difference and eventually my mother’s murder case was reopened when her efforts reached the sitting mayor (W. Wilson Goode); he personally reopened the case. Her dedication and passion to not allow my mother’s murder to be in vain, and bringing awareness towards domestic violence led to her forming the organization Peace & Love.
HHE: You guys have had major support and even artists like Musiq Soulchild have participated in helping spread the message in the past, what are your direct involvements with Peace & Love?
Nelli: The organization brings awareness to domestic violence as well as Black on Black crime. For my involvement, I speak to kids during the Peace+Love school tours throughout the year. I share my story, and again, give them an opportunity to be heard. It started as a one-time event on the anniversary of my mom’s death, October 29th. But now the school tours happen throughout the year in Philly, Delaware and they even visit HBCU’s.
It’s a host of events that include spoken word, live art, music and personal testimonials. It takes kid’s minds off of the negative and violence that some see every day and it shows them a different way. It provides them a safe haven. Peace+Love is really active and every time I’m back home in Philadelphia I attend a couple of schools and speak to the kids about my story and how they should be aware of domestic violence and things of that nature.
HHE: I Dream Awake also details another part of your life which was your prison bid after you were convicted of running a marijuana ring. You leaped some tremendous hurdles and you were able to bounce back with a felony on your record and succeed in corporate America. How were you able to do that and what’s your advice for others who are also facing road blocks because of past mistakes?
Nelli:
You reality is whatever you create it to be; hence the title of my book, I Dream Awake. I learned from one of my favorite authors, Paulo Coehlo, in The Alchemist, that whatever you put out in the universe (as far as your efforts and what you desire), the universe will conspire to bring you closer to it. When I was released from prison, I was often warned, “You ain’t gone be able to get a job now because you’re a convicted felon,” but I knew I could achieve more. I knew that I was different, so those warnings never phased me. When I came out, the first job I got was an job in advertisement with Radio One, a new radio station in Philadelphia. I landed a six-figure job (including commissions) within the first year of my release from prison.
That’s another thing I want to do with this book, I want to give hopeless prisoners some hope of a new life. I want to go back inside the prisons and talk to prisoners. I want to be some type of example for them, because I was just like them. I want to somehow offer guidance and direction for them, because the “correctional system” isn’t designed to do this or any other form of correction in my opinion. I want to help create real reform in the prisons, where positive change are really happens and we’re ultimately addressing the issues that sent a lot of these young men to prison in the first place.
